Siddown and lemme tell you a thing or two about Kaz.

Kaz is a professional writer and editor. Apparently it’s been this way since 2012, but that doesn’t seem right. More likely it’s been either three days or twelve-thousand years.

You can find out more about her work on her hire me page, but the gist of it is: if you give her some money, she will give you some excellent words. Excellent is subjective, of course, but she assumes you have great taste.

On her blog, Kaz writes about creativity, storytelling, the business of writing, and whatever the hell else she feels like talking about, such as the ten best movies featuring hot guys who get injured and take off their shirts. (She needs to collect more data before she publishes this.)

She also writes a monthly-ish newsletter. In it she divulges things that are too embarrassing to share publicly, mostly about life as a writer. People say it’s brilliant and hilarious and insightful, including Kaz.

Her first novel is ostensibly about depraved scientific experiments, galactic domination and harvesting alien organs. Really it’s just about a few kids trying to undo past fuck-ups. She’s still writing it, but says she will finish it before her second and third novels, which she has also started writing. She really means it this time.

She holds a first-class degree in Journalism from the University for the Creative Arts. Actually it was called the Surrey Institute of Art and Design at the time, but that doesn’t sound as impressive. She also tries to impress people by telling them she has written for The Guardian, lectured at Edinburgh College, and would survive the first wave of a zombie apocalypse. All three are true. Hopefully.

In her spare time, she plays video games, reads comics, and binges four-hour videos of people playing Dungeons and Dragons. Also sometimes she leaves the house. But not usually.

She wrote this page in third person so she can’t be accused of immodesty, which is the same reason everyone writes bios in third person. Either that or they are so successful they have people to do it for them. Which could also be the case for Kaz. We may never know.